What?! I can be happy — right now? There are at least fifteen more dramatic adjectives I can insert here — but happy?? Life isn’t supposed to be easy. One must work hard, suffer, fail, work even harder. But happy — right now? I mean, I’m a work in progress.
For example, this sudden jiggle in my thighs. I intend to commence a diligent lunge program first thing tomorrow. Then there’s the crow’s feet forging a crinkly frame around what was once my best feature. And what’s up with this blooming nodule on my jawline; will I be senile and still breaking out?
Of course I have less superficial goals. I want to take voice lessons, learn the Tango, perfect my Spanish, perhaps study French. What I really need to do is focus on being less preoccupied. And I definitely need to establish a “girl’s group” in my neighborhood. We could go to a comedy club, a play, a concert, or just rent a movie and hang out with a vat of popcorn. But not this month because my schedule is nuts.
My roots are screaming for high-lights, and I have nothing to wear. My summer wardrobe is just not me anymore. My coloring has changed. Everything I put on looks ghastly. Maybe I should get a spray tan. Oh, and there was a miracle skin-clearing product I read about in Oprah Magazine. I wonder if they FedEx? And what about dinner? First, I must get the clothes into the drier and iron my work shirts. Did I water the plants yet? I need to pick a specific day each week so I won’t keep forgetting. Thank goodness the cats have a self-feeding/watering device. I can’t believe the roses on my desk are dying already. I hope I remember not to buy them from that store again.
Oops, there goes my cellphone. It’s my mom calling for our weekly chat. I’ll have to call her back. Because my main goal is to be a writer. And the truth is, I haven’t spent nearly enough time pursuing this dream. Next week, after my husband upgrades my computer system, I’ll begin. No sense in losing my prose to an unanticipated computer crash, right? Next Wednesday it is! I’m committed. Once I return from my 3-day trip as a flight attendant, after I work out, return phone calls, run errands, do the laundry, water the plants, give the husband and cats some love, prepare dinner…
I’ll be happy then.